This was written November 2015 when I was 7 weeks pregnant and scheduled to go live once my pregnancy was public in March 2016
So it has not been long since we have found out and this week I’ve had the crazy task of trying to keep the pregnancy a secret.
This week my mother is coming to visit for 2 nights with most of the time based in London so see an opera. The last few years my health has not been great but even in such a short time since getting preggers my head stuff has gotten so much better! We are trying to play it off as a change in diet (though that is just pregnancy foods to avoid and nausea from others), change in medication, lots of rest and all the nero-physio work.
I really thought with all the morning sickness, exhaustion, obvious pregnancy foods to avoid and the nose of a Bassatte Hound that it was going to be really obvious. Turns out that walking helped the morning sickness and I had been smart enough to pack small packs of crackers to nibble on when it did kick in under the guise of just being hungry.
I must say it was hard not grinning from ear to ear about our little secret – OH would sneak a bump kiss when she wasn’t in the room and we kept talk about bump to a bare minimum via the phone in case she saw the message some how. When we did have to talk about it, it was coded to sound like it was a month visit instead.
Ironically this tactic also turned out to explain my need for trips to the loo… and a lot of the other little symptoms that I hadn’t thought about as I’d been so worried about the constant nausea. Need the loo… is because of Aunt Urma’s monthly visit, foods taste stronger… is because of Urma, constantly being hungry… is because of Urma! It turns out that other than bigger boobs and nausea I could put everything down to the monthly visit I wasn’t going to have for a long time. Seems that those two being so close in symptoms was useful for something.
So did she know after wards – not at all! My sister, who was told to help keep it a secret until Christmas, was able to give an update on how little she suspected that she was going to be a Grandmother.
The trip was a double success though – despite having a growing bump and dating my OH for 4 years, none of our family have ever met. The opera trip wasn’t just a lone trip with me and my mum but organised by OH’s grandmother. Not only did some of our family meet for the first time but no one found out from either family unless they had been let into our secret before. For me it was my sister but for OH it was his uncle whose the same age as my sister.
So what are my tips for helping to keep it a secret from those big family occasions:
- Blame those monthly visits if you can – people generally won’t share on that Aunt Urma is about. This will help with regular loo trips, cramps and wanting to inhale lots of food – well it does for me!
- Keep mini packs of crackers for morning sickness on you at all times – this might mean hiding them in coats, bags and in various places/the bedroom
- Normally the drunken one at the party, tell them you’re on Naproxen for some sort of pain relief. You can’t drink while on it and as it is in the same family as ibuprofen it wouldn’t be something they would give to someone pregnant. It also gives you a good excuse to not being able to take anything with ibuprofen, unsettled stomach (you normally get prescribed an anti-nausea drug), and having to eat a big meal. Ironically as I have been using Naproxen for headaches for the last 10 months until I the pregnancy hormones stopped my headaches.
- Walking is your friend – the more I walked the better I felt so don’t be nervous if there is lots of walking planned. At a family event at home where walking is off the tables, offer to walk to the shops or plan to forget something on purpose so you have to walk to get it.
- Flowing dresses – bloating is not a bump but makes it look like you have one so investing in floaty dresses that hide your growing curves and bumps. Wrap tops and dresses are a great way to do this with early curves.
- Tell one family member from each side that you trust to keep it a secret who can help you hide it at family events. My sister was really helpful in keeping mine a secret but also in giving great advice on how to do so when she and OH weren’t about.
- Enjoy the fun and relax – it is thrilling to have this secret but for you and the baby its best to keep calm. I was so convinced someone would find out but no one did
Do you have tips for keeping yours a secret? I would love to hear them so leave a comment below!